This post is part 1 of 3 in the series Feed­back: Asking, giving, receiving.

In an environment where people know me

First, think about my inten­tion for asking for feed­back and share that.

Seek feed­back from people whose opin­ions I value or people who have a different world view than mine. How is the person I’m asking best suited to give me feed­back?

Contract with the person/group to include:

Let others know that I am using some new skills and would benefit from feed­back about how it is going.

Be specific about what I am trying to improve.

Am I asking for one-time or ongoing feed­back?

Share my expec­ta­tions:

  • We would set a time to receive the feed­back as soon after the event as possible, while the memory is fresh.
  • I’m hoping the person will give me exam­ples of when they expe­ri­enced me at my best and exam­ples when improve­ment would be helpful.
  • I’ll do my best to listen to their feed­back and not react.

Will that work for them?

What expec­ta­tions do they have?

What ques­tions do they have?

Asking for a “rewind”

Going back to someone after having an inef­fec­tive conver­sa­tion and asking for the oppor­tu­nity to have the conver­sa­tion again