You can stop pretending you know what you’re doing. I know you’re making everything up as you go (hoping nobody notices). It’s OK though — that’s not where your problems are coming from. Rather, your problems are coming from the fact that you think other people know what they’re doing. It’s an illusion that’s wreaking havoc in your life.
I’m reminded of an exercise in Geoff Bellman’s class on consulting. He asked each of us to take out a piece of paper and write down our biggest fear. The “truth-telling” paper was then wadded up and thrown across the room. We then opened what had landed nearby. What was in most of those wads? “I’m fooling people. I don’t have as much skill as I’m acting.” “I’m a fraud, a fake.” “I’m dishonest.”