Appreciative interview for two or more people (i.e. a family, spouses, partners) in an intimate relationship.

  1. Looking back at your past, tell me about a time when you felt most alive, most fulfilled, or most excited — a time when you can say you were living out a personal calling, something you’ve always wanted to do or dreamed of doing.

    What was it and what about it made it so spectacular? Share with me how this experience made you feel, what you valued most about it.

  2. Now, looking at your entire experience with me — from the day we first met to now — tell me about a time when you felt most alive, most fulfilled, or most excited for us to be together. What was happening and what were we doing? Tell the story in detail.

    What made it exciting?
    Who/what else was involved?
    What was it about me that helped make you feel so alive?

  3. Let’s talk about some things you value deeply — specifically, the things you value about yourself and your relationships with the people you love most.

    Without being humble, what do you value most about yourself as a person?

    What do you value about the relationships you share with special friends, family members?

    What do you value about the relationship we’ve created together? What is the most important thing this relationship has contributed to your life?

  4. What do you experience as the core factors that give life to this relationship? Give some examples of how you experience those factors.
  5. What three wishes would you make to heighten the vitality and health of this relationship?
  6. Fast-forward five years from now. Your wishes have come true and life, as you know it, is better than you could have ever imagined. From our relationship, to our lives at work, with friends, with family, and at home, we have a lot to be grateful for.

    What’s happening? Tell me in detail the images you see.

  7. What small steps/changes can you make today that will get you closer to making this future image a reality today?

    Further, what support will you need from others in order to take those steps fearlessly?

— from Jen Hetzel Silbert