If someone’s behavior is bothering me to the point of my wanting to say something, I stop and think through what’s bothering me before opening my mouth.
- What are my assumptions about the behavior?
- How am I trying to make the other person wrong?
- Considering the other person has the best intentions, what different assumptions could I make about the behavior?
- How is this behavior similar to something in my past? Describe in detail.
- What stress am I under at the moment, and how is that related to my interpretation of the behavior or my reaction?
- How am I contributing to the behavior?
- What do I really want for the relationship?
- What would I do right now if I really wanted these results?